Change

Definition: to make radically different; to give a different position, course, or direction to; to become different; to pass from one phase to another; to undergo transformation, transition, or substitution

“Change implies making either an essential difference often amounting to a loss of original identity or a substitution of one thing for another.” Webster


Seasoned
Sunshine’s provision
On brisk winter days
Patchwork quilt colors
Disguise fall’s decay
Spring Buds, Green brilliance
Revealing new life
Summer heat sliced
By cool breeze’s knife
Seasons can sting
Hollow and Grim
Satan’s façade covers
Truth found within
Winter holds blankets
Of sparkling snow
Spring hosts flowers
By rivers that flow
Warm summer nights
Desired so much
Fall unveils God’s
Creative touch
Explore the seasons
Searching good
The glisten of hope
Often misunderstood
Glimmers of promise
Encouragement, trust
Make possible the walk
That confronts the unjust
Failure in trials
Thunderstorms ring
Quickly snuffed out
By praises we sing
Imperfect seasons
Preserve though they’re still
Under submission to
God’s perfect will
Knowing essential
Shall not pass unique
Seasons bestow
Advocates for the weak
Sisters in Christ
Enlighten sound reason
I thank God for you
In this, my “season.”

I'm not going to reveal the author of this poem, but I thought is was very cool...

I'm just rambling...

It’s been an interesting weekend… I woke up early Saturday morning (not by choice) and decided that was okay cause I needed some time with the Lord. I had some questions for Him and decided to use the time to try and figure out some stuff. What’s funny is that I didn’t come out of that time with answers to my questions, but instead a thankful heart. Here’s how it went: “My God, I have a decision to make and I’m not sure what You want me to do. I don’t know what else to do right now, so I’m just gonna spend some time in your Word. Reveal what You will and I’ll go from there.”

I ended up reading through Hebrews (my fave in the NT). Funny how God gives you stuff that doesn’t really answer the question you’re asking, but instead just provides more intimacy with Him. I think I knew this already on some level, but God was really teaching me about what freedom means. See before Christ, worshippers of God didn’t have access to Him. I mean they did in the sense that we have the examples of Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, Etc. But in general (according to the law) only one person could actually enter the place where God resided (holy of holies). In fact, that person could only enter once a year and many things had to take place for him to be able to do so. In my reading of Hebrews I saw how the author was trying to communicate that these restrictions in our access to the one true God no longer applied. It showed how Christ’s sacrifice on the cross allowed unlimited access to God. There was no longer a need for animal sacrifice… no longer a need for a high priest other than Christ.

This got me thinking about something. Just a couple of weeks ago I ordered my class ring. I wanted the inscription on the inside to read “Yahweh yireh”. The dude who was placing my order wanted to know if I or my boyfriend were Jewish based on this choice. I explained to him my reasons but I realize now that if he knew anything about being an orthodox Jew, he’d know that if I had been Jewish I wouldn’t have the freedom to inscribe the name of God on my ring. If that makes no sense, check out the limitations of being an orthodox Jew. This is leading somewhere…

Strangely, this event gave me cause to be thankful that I have access to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob… the only God of the universe. I am not restricted by sacrifices and rules to enter into His presence. Jesus has provided a way (through His life and willing sacrifice) for me to have a personal relationship with the perfect, righteous, holy and just God. I don’t have to depend on a human priest or animal sacrifices. I don’t have to have a “distant” relationship with Him where I give what I have in the hope that He is satisfied with that. Because of what Christ did on the cross, I can just… talk to Him. I have the ability to enter into His presence any time I want.

I have read over and over about my freedom as a Christian. To me that meant, freedom from the bondage of sin and the certainty of death and judgment. While that’s true for sure, it’s so much more than that. Because of what Jesus chose to do on the cross, I have the freedom to have an unlimited, personal relationship with God. Because of Christ I no longer need a mediator. He lives to make intercession for me. His choice; His sacrifice put an end to all of that once and for all. I sit in a position where I can just decide, “I’m gonna hang out with God today”. Lord please forgive me for not doing it more often...

I walked away from that time just being thankful. Why? Because I don’t need to offer to the Lord what He requires for my sins. I don’t have to follow some set of rules to enter into His presence. I have full access to Him every second of every day. He knew that I wasn’t capable of earning a way to re-connect with Him, so He provided it. He loves me so much that He made a way for me to have an unrestricted relationship with Him.

This is a new definition of freedom for me. I’m saved, justified, sanctified and am free from the fear of death. But more than that, I’m free to have access to God in way that was inconceivable to the Jews (God’s chosen people). I can wake up in the morning and decide, “I think I wanna hang out with God today”. Wow.

While you were at the beach...

This is what I was doing - GMAC Second Quarter 10Q

The things I learned as an audit intern:

• How to perform a Quarter review for a Fortune 500 company within the scope of Generally Accepted Accounting Principles and the standards set forth by the Securities and Exchange Commission

• Driving on I-75 is dangerous at best.

• People don’t like auditors.

• Air conditioning is a must when wearing a suit.

• Accountants are disorganized.

• A team of brilliant people is only as effective as its worst communicator.

• Recruiting is like courting... it's all good until the marriage begins.

• High heels are uncomfortable and cause painful spots on your feet that last for days.

• I’m a geek. (ok, I already knew that)

• You need documentation for every number and phrase contained within a financial statement in order to provide comfort to the public on its accuracy.

• Glass elevators are fun.

• Working 12 hours a day SUCKS!

• I can survive without lunch.

• Copy machines and printers are the enemy.

• Everything I learned in school doesn’t apply.

• I can keep expensive secrets. (don’t ask)

• Some people thrive on stress.

• I’m not as detailed as I thought I was.

• I can be broken by a job.

• I really love my friends.

• I miss people who talk about things other than accounting.

• I don’t want to be an auditor for the top CPA firm in the country.

Faithful Few

My apologies to the faithful friends who have continued to check my blog for updates (I think there may be 3 of you) and have been met with.... nothing. I really do love you guys but life has been WAY too busy. Maybe I can catch up during the six weeks I have between finals and my internship. Yeah right... :)

Umm...I've always been a "private person"

Are you an introvert?


"Feudal society was so granular in structure, composed of such compact curds, that any individual who attempted to remove himself from the close and omnipresent conviviality, to be alone, to construct his own private enclosure, to cultivate his garden, immediately became an object of either suspicion or admiration, regarded as either a rebel or a hero and in either case considered "foreign"—the antithesis of "private". The person who stood apart, even if his intention was not deliberately to commit evil, was inevitably destined to do so, for his very isolation made him more vulnerable to the Enemy's attacks. No one would run such a risk who was not deviant or possessed or mad; it was commonly believed that solitary wandering was a symptom of insanity. Men and women who traveled the roads without escort were believed to offer themselves up as prey, so it was legitimate to take everything they had. In any case, it was a pious work to place them back in some community, regardless of what they might say, to restore them by force to that clearly ordered and well-managed world where God intended them to be, a world composed of private enclosures and of the public spaces between them, through which people moved only in cortege." --Georges Duby, A History of Private Life: Revelations of the Medieval World, Cambridge, MA. 1988

I read this recently.... we'll talk later :)

God handles the small stuff

At the risk of sounding totally lame, I'm going to share this story anyway. :)

Last Thursday as I was getting myself ready to head off to class my furnace was making a really ugly noise. It was really loud and no matter how high I turned up the volume on the TV I couldn't ignore it. Since I've been out of touch with most people you couldn't possibly understand the state of mind this put me in. Over the last 5 months I've been dealing with problems with this particular appliance and it always comes at especially inconvenient times. Anyway, with last week being the start of a new semester and new obligations I really didn't want to deal with this again.

From the moment I heard that terrible noise up until my tax class started (about 2 1/2 hours) I just kept talking to God. I was saying stuff like, "God, you know I really can't deal with this over the holiday weekend" and "I know this seems trivial and stupid but I'm worried about my sanity" and "I have so much else going on God, please make it so I don't have to deal with this right now" and "I know you have the power to fix it so PLEEEAAASSEE...". I even called my cousin and asked her to pray about it. I know I know, it seems really dumb but it was really important to me at the time.

After class had started and my day began I tried really hard not to think about it. There was this continuous nagging that I would have to deal with it when I got home that night, but I was really trying to just trust that God would handle it. He may not decide to make it go away, but He WOULD give me the grace (some how) to deal with it.

Later that night when I got home the furnace was fine and it wasn't making that noise anymore. How cool is that? I know it's a prehistoric furnace and my troubles with it aren't over, but I really feel like God gave me the weekend. Skeptics would call it a coincidence, but I really think that God heard me and let me know that He does actually care about the little things. What's great for my faith is that if He cares about what seems barely significant....how much does He care about the larger things in my life??? That gave me something to chew on.